Vocational Confusion

Over the course of the last year or so I have been uncertain as to whether or not to continue my journey as a Pastor of Children. Though I still love teaching, training volunteers, and writing, I am uncertain as to whether I will continue in direct ministry to children. After 15+ years of doing the work I admit that it feels slightly strange to me that I no longer have a passion for working with children in the capacity that I have in the past.

It seems strange to those who know me and it seems strange to me also. What is also odd to me is that when I talk with friends and colleagues and the topic of Kids Ministry comes up, I can talk for hours and do so with passion. So, in short, I am in a place of vocational confusion. During this phase of wondering and seeking God I am working on a Masters of Divinity Degree at a local seminary and waiting to see what happens.

In the meantime, as I contemplate whether or not to resurrect this blog or begin a new one that addresses topical subjects relevant for ministry to children, I welcome your prayers and suggestions. Feel free to join me on The Journey Deeper if you would like to continue keeping up with me. Thanks for reading.

City Violence

 

In the city of Chicago we’ve had more than our share of violence. Since the start of the school year numerous kids and teenagers have been shot (some killed and others survived), and then there was the weekend of April 22nd. Over the course of the WEEKEND there were 36 reported shootings and 9 homicides - in ONE weekend!

What’s the solution? Is it tougher gun laws? Probably not. Is it righteous indignation? Closing our eyes to the problem and ignoring it or embracing it as a norm of city life?

Faith, Fear, and the Impala

…Fear of doing things my way, and not God’s way
…..Fear of failure and misdirection
…….Fear of rejection and sometimes even acceptance
……….Fear of being challenged to do more
………….Fear of what is uncertain
…………….Fear of what we can’t figure out on our own
………………..Fear of being anything other than self reliant and functioning off of what we think we know
…………………….Fear of taking a leap, because of what we can’t clearly see

Sometimes God speaks what I am not 100% sure I want to hear all the time. Yesterday was one of those moments. I heard a sermon yesterday lifted from Joshua chapter 3 and one of the illustrations given was that of the Impala – an animal that can high jump as high as 10 feet, and broad jump 36 feet, yet is able to be contained in a zoo that is only 3 ft high. The speaker lead us into wondering with her about this, and mentioned that though an impala has the ability to jump high and fast, it will only jump if it can see where its feet will land. I suppose focus is a good thing – knowing where we are headed, and what we’re aiming for – this is especially true in children’s ministry. And could it also be true that sometimes God calls us to jump into some of what is unknown.

Could this be where I am at this moment in ministry? Might this be where others are in ministry or in life in general – having the ability to go further, and do much more, but allowing fear of the unknown to sometimes grip us and prevent us from doing all that God has uniquely gifted us to do – in children’s ministry or otherwise.

How many more kids can you really reach? How many more leaders can you really develop? How much more can God really do through you if only we were willing to take the next jump, even though we may not be certain of where our feet will land.

Kids Just Get It!

“I want the white one!” These were the words of a a preschooler in our ministry. As one of the creative communication team members shared the message of the gospel using the Wordless Book and long after we had moved on to another part of our time with the kids, these words were shared.

Snack was done. The lesson was complete. And still she exclaimed: “I want the white one.” To what was she referring – to the message that she heard moments earlier. The white page simple referred to the forgiveness that God makes available to us in Christ! As we began involving kids in the process of a connecting activity of making “wordless” bracelets, she began crying because of what she didn’t think she could do. She sat in the corner to have what may have been a tantrum, and when asked if she was ready to join the group again, it was then that she exclaimed “I want the white one” – meaning she wanted the white part of the wordless bracelet. Still she wouldn’t rejoin the group, and it was then that another member of the team approached her, sat down beside her and as she expressed uncertainty about whether she was welcome back into the group, the leader then talked to her about the color “white” from the wordless book and reminded her of the meaning we applied to that color in the book and then went on to mention to her of what white stood for in the gospel message and that God forgives her and still loves her no matter what she does – she stopped crying and started asking questions and making statements like “you mean God’s not mad at me? But what if I do something really bad….” She was then told that we forgive her too, just like God does. As these words were shared, her face brightened with a huge smile and she reached up for a hug! This was a significant WOW moment for me as God reminded me of the significance and power of the Gospel to transform young lives – even the lives of very young children!! They can receive the gospel, intentionality is the key and refusing to let teachable moments slip us by because of how children are acting out at the moment. What a difference it would make if we look beyond their behavior and see their souls.

Aim Lower: Does The Church Get It?

Chris Brooks shared this and I thought I would share it here also. Many churches have a great grasp on this, yet many more don’t seem to have a handle on this. What is the evidence that you get it? Here are some questions:

Does your adult ministry space look great, while your children’s ministry spaces are in shambles?
What percentage of your church’s overall budget is allocated for Children’s Ministry?
Is children’s ministry at your church optional or a nonnegotiable factor?

Just questions to think about as we aim to impact!

Kidology Leadership Lab

The 3rd installment of the Kidology Leadership Lab is now available from Kidology, Inc. Great training, at a great price to produce great Children’s Ministry leaders! Check out Kid-Focused Ministry today!!

Tears

I’ve never been one to cry often, but sitting here moments ago eating ice cream – a much deserved treat after a weekend FILLED with ministry and suddenly it happened. I burst into tears. Not tears of sadness, not tears of pain or confusion, but tears of sheer gratitude! Sitting hear weeping with no ability to control or contain this burst of emotion all I could do was say “God, thank you, thank you so, so much!”
I wept because after years of struggle and disappointment with the church, after years of hooking up with wrong leaders, and places where there was no real freedom to be uniquely who God has called me to be, and being part of churches that talked a lot of stuff but didn’t walk it out, God has NOW placed me in a local church that I never could have dreamed of, never could believe existed, a church:

1.Where leaders are people not on pedestals, but people with issues and bold enough to admit it

2. Where Christ is central not just in word and church dogma, but in all that we do in ministry

3. Where we succeed and fail, and rejoice with one another as well as pick each other up when we fail

4.Where it is perfectly ok to be who you are (ethnically, socially, emotionally, etc)

5. Where there is no pressure to fit into any type of mold

6. Where actions follow words in regard to racial harmony

7. Where the blend historic and contemporary are encouraged and accepted

8. Where I have a pastor who’s heart and vision resonates with me

9. Where we are intentionally pursuing a multi-cultural worship experience

10. Where none of us are perfect, yet we are commited to moving forward

11. Where risk are taken and expected

Not long ago I was driving home from a class I was teaching and on the way home I took a detour and got lost. I drove for what felt like an eternity but it was approximately an hour and 30 minutes heading in the wrong direction. Finally I was able to figure things out and once I got on the right road heading in the right direction, I was stuck in a huge amount of traffic, but at that poing it didn’t matter, because at least I was on the right road and would eventually arrive at my destination. It caused me to reflect on my new church. There are so many inperfections and even some things that may frustrate me, but AT LEAST I AM ON THE RIGHT ROAD, HEADING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION! God is amazing in my life and minsitry. And though I am there to lead children’s ministry, that’s not all that I am there for – I am there to worship, I am there to grow, I am there to be challenged, I am there to allow God to teach me and take me to deeper levels of leadership, I am there to influence and be influenced… – and I guess all of this is the source of the flood of tears I just experienced! What an amazing God MY GOD is!!!!!!

You are amazing God!

A Child’s View of God

 “But God is mad at me.” As I was getting ready to begin a Bible message in Kids Church, before I could even get started good, these words flowed from the lips of a 5 year old boy. His words stayed with me. His words caused me to wonder. His words caused me to pray. His words caused me to feel compelled to give this child and perhaps other children like Him a correct view of God. Did he get this thought and belief from home? From church? From Somewhere else? I’m not sure. But my mind reflected on some of the words I have in the past heard adults utter to children when trying to help them behave. Statements such as “You better be good, because God is watching you” came to mind. Could this child’s view of God have come from statements such as this that promote fear, i.e. be good or else. Well, I’m not sure, but it was a reminder to me of just how significant my role as a Children’s Pastor really is. It is an opportunity to help children understand who God really is, and to shape their views of Him and of themselves as it relates to Him. Ironically, the message the next week was on the love of God, with the big idea being “God loves me even when I do something wrong.” I viewed the contents of the message with this child and other children like him in mind!

When God’s Call Scares You

Today was a day of celebration! A day of new beginnings! A day that confirmed God’s faithfulness in overseeing His call for my life! A day that I celebrate! Rejoice in! And offer God exuberant praise! Worship flows easily from my lips because it flows from an even deeper place – my heart!

Yet it is also a day that causes some other feelings to arise. As I arrived home and thought more deeply about the ministry He’s entrusted me with and placed in my hands to do, the people He’s called me to lead, I suddenly feel a sense of awe! A sense of God, if You don’t help me, then there’s absolutely no way I’ll experience victory and be able to carry out the assignment You’ve placed before me.

Why awe? Why fear? These feelings are new and I need to figure out what to do with them. Perhaps these feelings are the result of knowing that God has so much more that He wants to do in and through me – mostly in me. Perhaps it’s knowing that He has placed me beside and under leadership that will challenge me to think more deeply, inspire me to do ministry at a level that I have not ministered before. Perhaps it’s knowing that He has entrusted me with lives and resources, and ministry tasks that seem more than I feel capable of handling.

I’m not sure about all of that, but I am sure that His presence is with me and that as I lead, I am not leading alone. I have the promise of His presence and I will let that be enough!

Reflections on the Pastoral Call

This time change thing doesn’t actually work for me. I normally wake up around 6am whether I have to or not – no alarm clock, just eyes open, so the clocks going back an hour causes me to wake up way too early. This morning I woke up at an outrageous hour – around 2am I think, and of course I could not go back to sleep no matter how hard I tried.

While I lay down trying to go back to sleep I thought I would do something productive with me time, so I justs started praying, and I wasn’t the only one with something to say, God had some things He too wanted to impress upon my heart as I consider my next ministry position in a local church.

Last weekend as I considered this next phase of my ministry, I began thinking more deeply about my role as a pastor – what does it really mean? Is it just a title? Is it…?

As I picked up a catalog for a christian book store – a catalog that I had looked at before by the way, God quickly defined the role for me. On the front cover of the catalog was a verse from Ephesians – “Prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.” (Ephesians 4:12).

I know, a no brainer right? I have read the verse before. I have probably quoted the verse before. But never has it resonated with my heart as much as it did last weekend and as I woke up this morning.

As I move into this next phase of ministry in my role as a Children’s Pastor, this verse will be kept central in my heart and ministry practice. I love children, I love preaching and teaching God’s word to them, I love giving them a different view of church - one filled with excitement and enthusiastic worship. And a significant aspect of my call to a pastoral ministry to children is that of equipping others to impact children’s lives with the Gospel, and ALSO preparing kids for ministry as members of the body of Christ – one thing they do NOT have to wait to grow up to do is be used by God in ministry. Many of the people I know don’t fully embrace this fact, but for me it’s a settled isssue. Contrary to the opinion of some, it goes so much deeper than hanging out and having a fun blast with kids – it’s fun with a deep purpose – to introduce kids and others to Jesus, help them grow in that relationship and then prepare them to serve the Savior they’ve embraced!

So I will follow Biblical instruction and “prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.” With His help I will prepare not only God’s people who are adults, but also God’s people who are children – Children’s Pastor Randy Christensen refers to them as “the younger saints.”

What an awesome call. I have some fears, but God is greater than those, so because of His call and promise to be with me as I lead, I embrace the challenge in the new place of ministry He is calling me to – a church that is multi-ethnic and intentional about being and maintaining this focus. A church that is passionate about Jesus, enthusiastic in corporate worship, aiming to grow as a ministry rather than simply maintain the ministry. New Community  is all of these things and more and I am excited about growing in my personal walk with God and in my role as a leader with them. Only God could have done it like He did it, and I celebrate His call on my life and His choice to use me – I stand in awe of Him!

Pastoral Call – Reflections

This time change thing doesn’t actually work for me. I normally wake up around 6am whether I have to or not – no alarm clock, just eyes open, so the clocks going back an hour causes me to wake up way too early. This morning I woke up at an outrageous hour – around 2am I think, and of course I could not go back to sleep no matter how hard I tried.

While I lay down trying to go back to sleep I thought I would do something productive with me time, so I justs started praying, and I wasn’t the only one with something to say, God had some things He too wanted to impress upon my heart as I consider my next ministry position in a local church.

Last weekend as I considered this next phase of my ministry, I began thinking more deeply about my role as a pastor – what does it really mean? Is it just a title? Is it…?

As I picked up a catalog for a christian book store – a catalog that I had looked at before by the way, God quickly defined the role for me. On the front cover of the catalog was a verse from Ephesians – “Prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.” (Ephesians 4:12).

I know, a no brainer right? I have read the verse before. I have probably quoted the verse before. But never has it resonated with my heart as much as it did last weekend and as I woke up this morning.

As I move into this next phase of ministry in my role as a Children’s Pastor, this verse will be kept central in my heart and ministry practice. I love children, I love preaching and teaching God’s word to them, I love giving them a different view of church – one filled with excitement and enthusiastic worship. And a significant aspect of my call to a pastoral ministry to children is that of equipping others to impact children’s lives with the Gospel, and ALSO preparing kids for ministry as members of the body of Christ – one thing they do NOT have to wait to grow up to do is be used by God in ministry. Many of the people I know don’t fully embrace this fact, but for me it’s a settled isssue.

Contrary to the opinion of some, Children’s Ministry goes so much deeper than hanging out and having a fun blast with kids – it’s fun with a deep purpose – to introduce kids and others to Jesus, help them grow in that relationship and then prepare them to serve the Savior they’ve embraced!

So I will follow Biblical instruction and “prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.” With His help I will prepare not only God’s people who are adults, but also God’s people who are children – Children’s Pastor Randy Christensen refers to them as “the younger saints.”

What an awesome call. I have some fears, but God is greater than those, so because of His call and promise to be with me as I lead, I embrace the challenge in the new place of ministry He is calling me to – a church that is multi-ethnic and intentional about being and maintaining this focus. A church that is passionate about Jesus, enthusiastic in corporate worship, aiming to grow as a ministry rather than simply maintain the ministry. New Community is all of these things and more and I am excited about growing in my personal walk with God and in my role as a leader with them. Only God could have done it like He did it, and I celebrate His call on my life and His choice to use me – I stand in awe of Him!

Still on Sabbatical!

Still on sabbatical from Children’s Ministry, so I headed to Shedd Aquarium yesterday with a plan to stay for a couple of hours – well four hours later I was STILL there. I even had a chance to watch Spongebob Squarepants in “4-D!” I got much more than I expected, top notch sound effects, the smell of pickles as Spongebob made krabby patty, real splashes of water (which I could have lived without), seat motions and air effects! WOW! I was thrilled! Oh to make kids church such a memorable experience – to help kids feel like they are “there” as I teach the Bible to them! I believe we can teach the Bible to kids in a way that causes them to “re-live” it and leave lasting God impressions on their lives – to teach kids in a way that causes them to never forget what they’ve heard and experienced…
Anyway, as I walked around the Aquarium (indoors and outdoors) I think I discovered what’s missing for me as I do ministry. I need to learn how to walk away from it regularly, i.e. let a day off really be a day off, explore the city, get outdoors (although Chicago in the Winter is a little crazy, so I might have to find an alternative plan), enjoy time alone – just relax so that I have the strength needed to jump back into ministry when it’s time.

 

I am sure I am not alone in this though, there are other Children’s Pastors who struggle in the area of balance as well. As of yesterday I have commited to keep working on this area, more than likely it will help me to be even more effective in ministry. Taking time to “re-create” is something we all need to do – especially those of us involved in ministry.
 

Downtown!

Well, I did it. I walked away from Children’s Ministry over the weekend – officially. OK, just for a couple of weeks. While on my mini-sabbatical I took the liberty yesterday to go downtown to Millenium Park. Here’s the journey (totally unrelated to Children’s Ministry and a whole lot of rambling is about to take place, but it’s my blog, so I have permission), so here it is:

1. I went all the way to chinatown – yes I missed my train stop, simply because it was no longer a stop due to all the work they are doing on the CTA

2. Got off the southbound and headed back northbound

3. Got off at a stop close to the stop I normally get off at certain that I could find Millenial Park without too much difficulty.

4. I headed towards Washington st because if I found Washington st all I would have to do is walk straight and eventually I would see it in front of me.

5. Of course as I was walking I had this “I’m going the wrong way” kind of feeling. Nevertheless I kept walking and then I noticed a fountain of orange water, a crowd of people staring at some maniacs entertaining for “Chicagoween.”

I don’t celebrate Halloween, but I stopped to check it out, took some pictures, smelled the flowers nearby, watched the birds, etc. I also discovered that my lungs don’t respond well to too much second hand cigerette smoke, so I moved on.

6. Still looking for Millenium Park, at this point completely unaware of how to get there, and bothered by the number of people walking around – I forgot it was a work day and I was downtown. I found it hilarious that they had people assisting with traffic and pedestrian crossing, blowing whistles and everthing – only in Chicago, try to find that in Downtown Boston…

7. Stopped in bakeries, did some people watching, walked SLOWLY, did some window shopping and then heading back the way I came from only to arrive at my original starting point and discover that Millenial Park was right there – about a block away.

I was so bothered because all I really had to do was look behind me when I was at my starting point. I was so close to it, but didn’t see it. It made me wonder how many times even in ministry God has answers right there waiting to be discovered, but we wander around, walking in the wrong direction in hopes that we’ll find what we’re looking for when all we have to do is stand still long enough to look around us and discover exactly what we’re looking for.

The days journey ended with musical entertainment by a woman who sat alone on the ground at the train station. As I walked down the stairs I heard a beautiful voice singing. As I stood waiting for the train, I couldn’t help but wonder about a few things:

…………What gives someone the nerve/courage to sing loudly in public unsolicited?
………………..What inspires them to do so? Is it just the need for financial income or is it something else?
…………………………….How is it that such a beautiful voice is confined to a train station – she needs some other public forum somewhere
…………………………………………Am I pouring into kids lives in a way that instills healthy self confidence and a balanced view of themselves?

As the train arrived she was singing “your grace and mercy has brought me through.” I wondered what her story was – brought her through what? I started to ask her, but I missed the moment – perhaps God will let me see her again so that I can ask her what’s up, etc.

Life is filled with missed moments, noticed but ignored opportunities to impact lives – in children’s ministry and in so many other settings. But though I missed an opportunity to touch the life of this woman who sat in the train station, she, aware or not aware, didn’t miss the opportunity to impact mine. Her last song was used by God to remind me that God’s grace and mercy is in fact what has brought me through all of the craziness in my life, and I’m living this moment because of Him.

OK, I have just rambled, but that was my day. And here are some other things that I took time to stop long enough to see while breaking from Children’s Ministry.

Birds having a party on some flowers – I forgot how good flowers smelled until I paused long enough to smell them. Beauty is all around me, being consumed by ministry causes me to miss it most times.

I don’t know what this is, but it looked interesting so I stopped at the crosswalk before crossing the street and took a picture of it, maybe some day I’ll find out what it is.

Attitude Check

Still I Rise – Yolanda Adams

And of course there’s more than one way to express this message – poetry works too.

STILL I RISE – Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries. Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs? Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

~ Maya Angelo ~

After yet another difficult weekend I woke up this morning and was reminded of the words of the poem written above. Certainly it was written with the backdrop of a painful history, but the words are still applicable today and I am encouraged by the words written by one of America’s great African American Poets. In life, I understand that pain is probably, but rising can also be our reality!

Parents Are Clueless (or are they?)

Do parents really know what they’re doing? Do kids think they do? Check out what some parents are saying about kids and also see what kids are saying about parents. http://www.parentsareclueless.com/